You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
