I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
