got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
