u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
