Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
