I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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