I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
