So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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