I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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