I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
