idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
