A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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