can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
