so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize