hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
