My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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