i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize