If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize