so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Someone signed my nipple.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
