you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
