Pants 0. Shit 1.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
