Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
