Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
