Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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