Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
