come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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