i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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