This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
