i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
