I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
