All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
