Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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