She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
