My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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