Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
