Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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