fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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