you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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