no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
