Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
