i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm jealous of your bromance
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
