nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i think i just lost a toe
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
