is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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