i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
