If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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