Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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