Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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