So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
