Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
