Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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