Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
