Ambien. No doubt about it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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