Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
