my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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