Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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