He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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