I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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