I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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